In my search to learn more about myself and learn how to best help my patients, I discovered how most family trauma is passed down. It is not passed down necessarily through genetics, however, genetic tendencies can & are inherited. What is passed down even more so are environmental behaviors such as diet, personality, reactions & habits. The ENERGY of the household is inherited.
Genetic expressions & neural pathways
We are so vulnerable as children. Our genetic expressions and neural pathways are still connecting & being fostered, so any trauma can model or impair the human being’s development.
What does this mean? This means that unless you bring awareness to the situation, you may seek out what is familiar to you since this was influential during your development. This is why you see people raised in abusive home life’s as children, become abusive adults. It’s not what they want, but it’s the only roadmap they’ve been shown.
This can be obvious in something as extreme as abusive relationships, but may not be as obvious if your childhood trauma is more subtle, for example, chaos, neglect, instability in the home, or a reactive parent.
Therefore getting to know yourself & unlearning entrenched family habits is paramount.
- You can’t change what you don’t see.
- You can’t change what you won’t admit.
- Sometimes that takes deep self-reflection & work. AND TIME. Be patient with loved ones.
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you feel bored in calm, stable relationships? Do you create mountains out of molehills? Do you have a cycle to your fighting? If you always point your finger at your partner, there are four fingers pointing back at you.
If this resonates, you may be reliving trauma from your childhood. You may be attracted to & attracting partners who are similar to a parent.
Luckily, with awareness, accountability & self-work, you can clear this family trauma & break cycles. Awareness is key.